Early Morning Bike Riding

I like to ride my bike when no one can see me.  I'm fat, I'm slow and I don't like people staring at me.  Anytime between 4am and 6am is good for where I live.  At 4am, I can guarantee there's at least one person up in my housing tract, so it's a little more safe.  At 6am, everyone is going to work and I live a block off the main highway, so anything later than that, while it's still dark, isn't too wise.

I got my lovely bike, a Fuji Crosstown, in December.  It's basically a couch on wheels.  Unfortunately, I forgot that I have never once found a bike seat that didn't cripple me for several days after anything longer than about five minutes.  I wish I was kidding.  The longest I've been able to ride it so far is fifteen minutes and my sit bones hurt for multiple days afterward.  Any pressure at all is pain.  To sit down in a chair I'm having to tuck one leg under me and keep most of my pressure on my outer thigh.  It's impossible to describe, but it sucks.

Today, I left at 6am (first bad choice).  I didn't tie my hair back (second bad choice).  I didn't quadruple check my keys (ultimate bad choice). 

I clip my keys to my bra and tank top straps so I don't stick them in my pockets and drop them, like I do with anything in pockets.  I guess the keys managed to fall off the keyring as I was clipping them and because I had my headphones in... yeah.  I got home, tried to get the mail and there were no keys to be found.  Cue panic.

Two years ago, at about this time of year, I was going through a really shitty breakup.  Like this time around, the only other person with keys to the house was in another country. 

Everything came flooding back.  Within a couple seconds, I was sweaty, shaky and my blood pressure rose so much I could feel the change.

Thankfully, the keys were on my doormat.

I guess I haven't dealt with that crap still.  Yeeeeeesh.